Guidelines for interactions between men and women who are not "mahram."

 

 Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.

Katakanlah kepada orang laki-laki yang beriman: "Hendaklah mereka menahan pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya; yang demikian itu adalah lebih suci bagi mereka, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang mereka perbuat".

[Terjemahan Surat An-Nuur, ayat 30]

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.

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Katakanlah kepada wanita yang beriman: "Hendaklah mereka menahan pandangannya, dan memelihara kemaluannya, dan janganlah mereka menampakkan perhiasannya, kecuali yang (biasa) nampak dari padanya. Dan hendaklah mereka menutupkan kain tudung ke dadanya, dan janganlah menampakkan perhiasannya, kecuali kepada suami mereka, atau ayah mereka, atau ayah suami mereka, atau putera-putera mereka, atau saudara-saudara laki-laki mereka, atau putera-putera saudara perempuan mereka, atau wanita-wanita Islam atau budak-budak yang mereka miliki, atau pelayan-pelayan lelaki yang tidak mempunyai keinginan(terhadap wanita) atau anak-anak yang belum mengerti tentang aurat wanita. Dan janganlah mereka memukulkan kakinya agar diketahui perhiasan yang mereka sembunyikan. Dan bertaubatlah kamu sekalian kepada Allah, hai orang-orang yang beriman supaya kamu beruntung.

[Terjemahan Surat An-Nuur, ayat 31]

It is narrated on the authority of Amirul Mu'minin, Abu Hafs 'Umar bin al-Khattab, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

lessons

 The Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, starts the hadith with the principle ("Actions are judged by intentions") and then gives three examples. This is the methodology of the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam. The examples help illustrate the principle so that it is easier for people to understand and they can apply the principle to other similar situations.

The three examples consist of one of good intention (migration for the sake of Allah and His Messenger) and two of bad intentions (migration for the sake of worldly gains or for marriage).

This hadith emphasises ikhlas (sincerity - to be truthful and honest to Allah alone, performing an act solely for Allah's sake whereby no other witness except Allah is sought). Ikhlas is one of the conditions of accepting good deeds. The other condition is that the actions must be done in accordance with the Shariah as it will be explained in the fifth hadith.

This can be seen in the shahadah :

• "I bear witness that there is no god but Allah" is the ikhlas - ensuring that we do things for the sake of Allah and Allah alone.
• "I bear witness that Mohammed is the Messenger of Allah" - the Sunnah is the manifestation of the Quran - the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, is our example, our best model to follow. Following his Sunnah in our ibadah, Akhlaq (ethics), and Muamalat (dealings) ensures that we are acting in accordance with the Shariah.

Thus, the shahadah shows us the conditions for accepting a deed or performing an action: (a) it should be for the sake of Allah because He is the only One we worship, and (b) it should be in accordance with the Shariah.

To achieve ikhlas, we have to avoid shirk (associating others with Allah, which causes insincerity). Al-Imam al-Harawi said the root cause for insincerity (or shirk) is self-desire (al-hawa). Therefore no action should be done because of self-desire.

Imam al-Harawi states that there are 7 types of self-desires:-

1. To make oneself appear good in the hearts of others
2. To seek the praises of others
3. To avoid being blamed by others
4. To seek the glorification of others
5. To seek the wealth/money of others
6. To seek the services or love of others
7. To seek the help of others for oneself

Ways to obtain ikhlas:

• Do righteous deeds - the more good deeds we do and hence get closer to Allah, the more sincere we will be.
• Before we do any deed we should firstly seek knowledge (ilm) - our actions/deeds should be guided by knowledge so that we do them in accordance to the Shariah.
• Do not give false impressions - do not make others believe that an action we did was good when it was not.
• Al-Imam Ahmad said: Before you do anything, check your intention (niyyah) - ask yourself before performing an action: "Is it for the sake of Allah?"

Ibnu al-Qayyim says: Any action we do is subject to three defects:

1. Being conscious that others are observing our actions
2. Seeking a return (benefit/reward) for the action
3. Being satisfied with the action

Examples:

• If we go to the masjid for the salah and we are early, arriving before the Imam and finding a place in the first saff, we should not be proud of ourselves and think of ourselves being better than others. We should praise Allah for enabling us to go to the masjid and for being able to perform the salah without any difficulties.
• After every salah, we should tell ourselves that we could have performed it better and try to improve in our next salah.

What happens if we were to change our niyyah while performing an action? Ibn Rajab says according to the ulama' if the niyyah at the end of the action matches the beginning (i.e. doing the action for the sake of Allah), then any changes in the middle of the action will be forgiven or does not matter, insha Allah. However, if the niyyah at the end does not match the beginning, i.e. we do the action for other than the sake of Allah, then we must repent (taubah).

There are four things that contradict ikhlas:

1. Ma'siat - committing sins - this will weaken our ikhlas
2. Shirk - associating others with Allah
3. Riya' - performing an ibadah with the intention of showing off to others
4. Nifaq - hypocrisy

Even though we must always make sure that our actions do not deviate from ikhlas, there are actions, which are automatically considered that of good intentions. For example, seeking knowledge in Islam, helping the community, doing da'wah, etc.

Some rulings (ahkam) which scholars derived from this hadith:

• When people 'swear by Allah' by saying "Wallahi" every now and then, their intention is not that they actually swear by Allah. They say it simply out of habit - it readily rolls off their tongue. Hence, it is harmless. However a Muslim should do his/her best to minimize it.
• When someone is asked to give an oath, what is judged is his intention when he gives the oath.
• There can be a combination of intentions between performing an ibadah and teaching others - we perform an ibadah for the sake of Allah, but we also do it with the intention of teaching others. e.g. when the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, performed the Hajj, he did it for the sake of Allah as well as for teaching the Sahabah (his companions, may Allah be pleased with them all).
• A man may go through the process of divorcing his wife, verbally or in court, but it is his intention which counts.
• What could be seen as ghibah (backbiting - talking bad, but true, things about a person behind his back) could simply be a joke or a dua. If someone talks bad about someone else, it is his intentions, which determines whether it is ghibah or not.

 

conclusion

 Our actions are undermined by our intentions - whether they are good intentions or bad intentions. Therefore we should always check our intentions before we do or say anything. We must make sure that the action is for the sake of Allah so that it is accepted by Allah and that we will be rewarded for it, insha Allah.

 © 2002 fortyhadith.com